


The Supreme Leader & His Queen

by readingandwritingsolo



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Age Difference, Arranged Marriage, Eventual Romance, F/M, Pre-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Romance, if not scenes aspects of it, it will have some scenes from TLJ, possible slow burn?, semi slow burn seems more accurate, this is if TFA never happened
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-06-19 00:56:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15498711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/readingandwritingsolo/pseuds/readingandwritingsolo
Summary: Luna Orian is the princess of the planet Librilia, next in line to be queen. When her mother came to her with the news that she was to be married in only a few months, that plan was foiled. She wasn't happy to begin with but finding out that it was to the Apprentice of the Supreme Leader of the First Order was even more hard for her to accept. After all, who could ever love someone from the First Order?





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> Kylo Ren just needs some love in his life. I've written drafts of this but never in first person or tried to do a slow burn this might crash and burn since I really haven't written a slow burn before or it might work out and might be a semi slow burn. This will only be in Luna's view of everything so I won't be switching between her and Kylo.

You stared at the reflection of yourself in the mirror at the blue and white vanity you sat at, looking at yourself in the white off the shoulder dress with a big skirt like your usual style that you had grown custom to wearing. The only thing you did not enjoy was all the lace, there was too much for your taste even as a princess, but you really didn’t have a chance in having a say in what the dress looked like. You didn't have a chance to have a say in anything that was going on or what you would like to happen. 

Being the princess of a planet didn’t come with as many responsibilities as some people would think or in your case at least. Growing up you were sheltered, protected at every turn you took, the only friends you had were the servants children if they had any at all and thankfully you were lucky enough that there were two girls who happened to be your age that were with you as you grew up. They were the only two people that you could talk to and be with without your parents being worried about where you were or who you were with. As you three grew up together they turned into being some sort of workers for you, they were not your servants, that you refused to believe because it wasn’t the case at all, they never felt like servants they were always your friends. 

When you were told you were to be married, you were not the happiest person in the universe. And being told that you were marrying a man that belonged to the First Order fueled your anger even more. How could your own parents send you off, their only daughter, to marry a man who belonged on the worst place in the whole galaxy? That was the thought that stayed in your head for the three months that you had to prepare for the arranged wedding that you were just dreading. 

You constantly asked your mother and father why they would do such a thing, the answer you would get was that the marriage was going to bring unity between the First Order and Librilia. You didn't feel like a beloved daughter that her parents were supposed to love and protect, you didn't know how you felt. Everything was so confusing to you, it was too much to handle at just eighteen years old. 

“You seem upset,” Vasma’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts. Vasma was one of the girls that you grew up with, she was one of the ones who mainly helped take care of you. She was always there to help you style your hair, do your makeup and choose what dress to put on. Those were her orders ever since you were fifteen. 

You looked over at her in the mirror as she braided your long brown hair, the way you always had it styled, so it was a natural movement for her to not even look at your hair. “I am,” you replied bluntly and looked back at yourself. 

“You can’t stay mad forever, Luna,” she reminded you. Everyday for the past three months she repeated that same sentence, hopeful to get it into my head but it never did. 

“Wouldn’t you feel the same way if you were marrying a man of the First Order?” you asked and she didn’t reply quickly which was what you were expecting. “Mother and father just want me to do this to bring peace between Librilia and the First Order. All the protecting they’ve done doesn’t matter now.”

She was silent for a while as twirled the braid into a bun on the top of your head and pinned it up, lost for words. Even though she had been your friend for all these years, she sometimes didn't know how to respond to you. “Do you believe that it will?” she asked, trying to see where you would imagine this going. 

You looked at her in the mirror, your pale blue eyes coming across her emerald green ones. You both just stared at each other as she waited for an answer and you searched for it yourself. You wanted it to for the sake of your planet and the people on it that you loved but you didn't. You couldn't. All you were able to do was just pull out one sentence that told you both exactly how you really felt. 

"No, I don't believe it will."


	2. II

You couldn’t explain how you felt going down that aisle. Fear? Betrayal? Anger? It was all inside of you, every single emotion was there inside of your body. As you walked with your arm around your father’s, you looked over and saw your mother standing with her posture just almost perfect and her hands together in front of her. She was standing in her usual red dress and her brown hair, which was almost identical to yours, laid against her back and her crown sat on top of her head as she watched. The two of you made eye contact and she could tell on your face that you weren’t happy with this but all she did was just give you a small nod as if it was her way of telling you that everything was gonna be alright and that this was the right thing to do. You wanted to believe her. You really did. You just couldn’t.

When you broke eyesight from your mother, you looked and saw the person you would be marrying. You weren’t even sure that it was a person, it could be a whole different species for all you knew. He was tall, taller than you could’ve possibly imagine and much taller than yourself, all of his clothing was completely black which wasn’t unexpected with the First Order. You had seen people from the First Order when they came to Librilia once for an unknown reason, everything was black which made it seem like the color was just associated with evil.

Everything that was said was simply faded in your ears, you were completely inside your head the entire time, your mind racing with what your life would turn out to be once you became part of the First Order. When you finally pulled yourself out of your thoughts the first thing you heard was that it was time for him to kiss you. At a wedding you’re supposed to kiss someone you love and it’s like a promise that you’ll be happy together but you knew that this wasn’t the case for that. It never would be. You would never be happy ever.

When you faced him, his hands came up to the side of his mask and it opened. He pulled it off to reveal his face. He was a person. You did find him fairly attractive and maybe if he wasn’t part of the First Order, you would have been okay with it. The kiss was forced by the both of you, there was nothing behind it. No love. No passion. Like you knew that they should be. You never wanted to kiss this man again. You had only just found out his name when it was announced that you both were now Luna and Kylo Ren belonging to the First Order.

There wasn’t any celebration like at the previous weddings you had been to, you barely had time to say goodbye to your parents and friends before being taken away to the ship you would be stuck on for the rest of your life.

As the two of you walked together on the ship, you remembered that you two were supposed to be staying together. That was not going to be happening, not on your watch, you would do everything you could to make sure it didn’t happen. “Where will I be staying?” you asked, using as much courage as you could possibly fester inside your body, terrified out of your mind for what the response would be and what he would do. 

“What do you mean?” he asked, his voice clearly distorted because of the mask. No one’s voice could possibly sound like that.

“I am not going to be staying with you, I do not know you so I will not be staying with you,” you replied, still trying to be as strong as you could be.

Almost immediately he stepped in front of you stopping you in your tracks, towering over you and you were scared even more, looking up at him. “You will.”

“No I will not. I had no choice in this marriage but I will have a choice on where I will be staying,” you said, the fear going away as you became more determined to not stay with him. 

He put his gloved hand up in front of your face, I was confused on what he was expecting to happen. “You will stay with me.”

You were furious at this point, this man didn’t have any respect on how you felt or what you wanted, it was simply unfair to you. “I said I will not,” you said, anger filled in your voice. He seemed caught off guard by your words, you didn’t know what happened this time but he didn’t say anything, he just slowly put his hand down and went back to where he was before, the two of you walking in silence, you trying your hardest to keep in time with how he was walking with his long strides. 

“Elara,” he said after we had turned a corner. A girl with long blonde hair tied up into a high ponytail with a braid running in it, dressed in black like everyone else on the ship. She quickly approached the two of us and stood with her arms behind her back in a respectful manner. “Take Luna to quarters of her own.”

You were completely shocked by that. You didn’t expect him to listen to you and do it, you were very curious on why he did but you knew better than to ask why, god knows what would’ve happened if you did. “Yes, commander,” Elara said and looked at you. “Follow me, please,” Kylo turned around and walked off as the two of you walked straight down the hall in silence as she took you to a quarters of your own. When you arrived you absolutely despised it, all the colors were dark and it was much smaller than the one you had in Librilia but you had to remember you weren’t a princess here. I was just a wife. A wife with a husband you who hated and you would never be happy with in your entire life. 

You slowly walked in, looking around at everything. The dark vanity table, the dark sheets, the dark walls, you hated the entire room. “Is it to your liking, Lady Ren?” Elara asked, you felt your stomach turn at just the sound your new title. Luna Ren was a terrible sound to your ears.

“Yes, it is,” you replied and turned to look at her. “And calling me Luna is just fine, please call me Luna, it would make me feel a lot better.”

She nodded in response. “This room should already have clothing in it so you will not have to walk around in that dress anymore, despite it being lovely.”

You chuckled and ran your hands down the front of it. “I’m used to walking around in dresses like these but thank you,” you said in an upset voice which you couldn’t control. You reached up and removed the flower headpiece that you had on and placed it onto the bed. 

“Is there anything you would like, Luna?” Elara asked.

You looked back at her and saw the genuine concern in her face. You couldn’t be mad at her, you had to remind yourself that, she was just following orders and it wasn’t her fault. “No, but thank you,” you replied sweetly, “all I really need right now is some sleep. I’ll call you if I need you.”

“I’ll be right next door,” she said, you nodded in understanding and Elara closed the door as she exited. You slowly took off the wedding dress and changed into something more comfortable, you took the pins out of your long hair letting it fall down piece by piece and brushed it out before going and laying down. It was nothing like your other bed, not as comfortable and not as big where you had room. Your brain slowly wrapped around the events of today and before you knew it the tears filled your eyes and you gripped onto the pillow under your head and cried yourself to sleep.

This was not how you wanted your life to end up being.


	3. III

Black. 

That’s all that was on this ship was black. 

The outfit that you had to wear was not something that you were used too, you hated it completely. You were given a black sleeveless top along with some bottoms that matched and were tight around your legs, black boots that strapped around your ankles and a long black jacket that was able to be tied as loose and tight as you wanted. Looking in the mirror you didn’t recognize yourself, you didn’t recognize how you looked in all the black. Even though your planet was taken away from you, you still kept the one piece that you couldn’t give up and that was your hairstyle. You still kept it in the two looping braids and high bun that you had back when you were on Librilia and it definitely made you feel like you had a piece of your planet with you. 

There was a slight knock pulling you out of your thoughts before the door opened causing you to turn and look to see Elara there. “Ms. Luna, the commander has requested your presence,” Elara told you and you were utterly confused on why he would want you to be with him. All you really had to do is just live on the ship and if you had to be with him in the presence for people of a planet then you would because it was your orders but to your knowledge you weren’t facing anyone. 

But still, you obeyed the request and walked out of the room with Elara. “Elara, do you have any idea why?” you asked her as the two of you walked side by side down the long dark hallway with some people every so often passing by on the other side. “Are we facing some people that require me to be there with him?” 

“I do not believe so,” she said. 

There was a short pause between the two of you before you spoke again. “What do you believe? Why do you think he’s requested me to be with him?” 

“To be completely honest I believe that the commander might be tired of being alone. He does have everyone on this base but none of that he has a real connection with.” 

You scoffed at that. “And he believes that he would have one with me? Even though we’ve been forced into being together? That’s just fantastic. His head is not right.” 

“Do you believe it would work out for you two?”

“No, I do not because it was not my decision for this to happen. To me he’s just a monster.” 

After that you both went silent. You two walked to the main part of the ship and when you arrived, Elara quickly walked away; you took a deep breath ready to face him and walked up to the man and stood there next to him. Not daring to look at him. Or his dark mask at least. 

“Do you know why I have requested you here?” his voice was so deep and distorted because of the mask, it made him seem terrifying. 

“No, I do not,” you replied, standing tall which helped you gain more confidence. 

“You will stand with me and be with me wherever I go,” he announced. 

“Now I have no say in my freedom as well, perfect,” you said rolling your eyes, completely upset with the entire situation. 

“You do not have to be so difficult.” 

You looked over at him, shocked that he would say that. Did he not understand at all how you were feeling? “And you do not have to wear that mask all the time. We do these things because we choose,” you looked back out at the window. “And I am not difficult, I am upset that I had no choice on who I was to marry.” 

You watched as the ship landed onto the planet, you were aware that they all weren’t beautiful because you had seen some by accompanying your father on trips over to some when your mother could not but this one, it was one of the prettiest ones you had ever seen. “My stars…” you trailed off and walked up closer to the window, leaning over the control panel to look at it closer.

“Would you like to go?” he asked from behind. You was surprised to say the least, you never thought you would be allowed to step foot off of this ship. 

You looked over your shoulder at him, there that mask still was but the voice was slightly, somehow, softer compared to the forceful and upset tone you had been hearing. 

“Yes.”


	4. IIII

Stepping off of that ship gave you much more relief than you would ever think. Being able to actually see light again and see things other than black and darkness, relieved you and made you feel some bit of happiness and joy. You watched as the Stormtroopers went off on the planet, you knew they must have been searching for people of the Resistance or just anybody who got in their way but you refused to go there, you were not going to be watching people be killed. 

You heard Kylo come down next to you and stand there. “I would like to see the rest of this place, I assume I am to be accompanied on it as well,” you assumed. 

“You are correct,” he replied. All you had to remember, even though you had to have him with you, this might be one of your last chances to explore and be on an amazing gorgeous planet. Or last chance to just be on a planet overall. 

“You know, I would possibly be a lot less difficult if I was talking to a person rather than a black figure in a mask,” you said, after a moments silence you heard the clicking of it and you glanced over to see that it was off of his head, being held in his hand. You didn't actually expect him to take it off. “Thank you,” the two of you walked for a few seconds in silence, a question playing in your head as you did before you finally took a deep breath to bring it up. “Doesn’t it bother you? To be forced into a marriage that you had no say in?” 

“It was to help the peace between Librilia and the First Order,” he said. Hearing his actual voice was a nice change compared to the distorted one you had heard in the few sentences that had been said to you. 

“So it doesn’t? It doesn’t bother you that you had to marry someone you didn’t choose and didn’t love?” you asked, trying to get into his view of things and how much he was just a monster in a mask. 

“It doesn’t,” that showed that even though he was biologically human, through emotion he wasn't. Anyone else would be upset to be forced into a marriage just like you were at the moment, it was like emotions didn't exist for him, like he felt absolutely and utterly nothing. “Does it bother you?” he questioned. 

“It does,” you replied with no hesitation. “I didn’t imagine my life to be this, I imagined it to stay on Librilia and fall in love with someone there then get married and rule as King and Queen there.” 

You both went silent again, you didn’t expect to have another question be asked. “How were you told?” 

It caught you of guard but you answered it still, you sighed before starting to tell him. “My mother came in three months before and told me that her and my father had made the decision that I was to be married. She said that it was because they loved me but I don’t believe her, they did this simply to keep the peace between everyone; I was their only child yet they gave me up and made me do something against my will.”

“I didn’t realize that you were so against this,” he said. 

“Of course, you weren’t the one who had to leave your entire life behind. The only place that you knew and felt comfortable in.” 

You sensed a shift between the two of you after you said that, you didn’t know what did it but he seemed to soften for some reason. Almost as if he did understand what it was like. 

“You can request and have whatever you would like to help,” he said. There was that softness you had heard before but it sounded more human and you could detect it. What had done it was a mystery. You really didn’t know what to say because of it. So you just said nothing.


	5. V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been awhile since I've updated, school and life has been hectic lately but I was able to piece this together since the last chapter.

Since your talk with Kylo, you slowly started to accept that this was happening and weren’t as furious as before. You still had hints of anger inside of you but with what he said about being able to request and have whatever I wanted, helped a little bit to make it more comfortable. 

Elara and you were growing closer as well as she was one of the only girls on the ship that you were able to talk to and weren’t scared to face. “Ms. Luna, would you mind if I was forward with you?” she asked one night as she held your hair in one hand, brushing it out. 

“Not at all, some honesty will be good for me,” you replied as your hands sat in your lap. 

“You seem to be a lot happier these days compared to when you arrived,” she said. 

You hummed. “I’m not completely and fully happy but I’m not as angry as I was when I first arrived on the ship,” you admitted. 

“Have you had a chance to tell the commander that?” she asked running her hand over your brown locks that she had just brushed. 

“No, I have not. I still am not sure on how to talk to him, he’s such a stone cold person and barely speaks to me.” 

“He has a good reason for that,” she muttered but still loud enough for you to hear. 

“What is it if you don’t mind me asking?” you asked. 

She stopped brushing your hair and the two of you looked at the other in the mirror. “I have known the commander for a long time, he is a difficult person to reach. He doesn’t show much compassion or affection, he has this…” Elara trailed off trying to find the right words, “cold exterior. He just needs someone to help break it down and for the person he is on the inside to come out and show,” you slowly started nodding as it all registered with you. “Have I overstepped? I apologize.” 

“No, no,” you assured her, turning around and grabbing onto her arm, “it was fine. Thank you. It feels like you’ve been the only one who really is honest to me lately. The only one who is truly my friend.” 

She gave a small smile. “Well it’s been a pleasure getting to know you, Ms. Luna,” you smiled at her in return. 

The following day you couldn’t help but wander around the ship. You knew you probably weren’t supposed to but you couldn’t help it, it really was an impressive ship. They even had some things on there that caught your eye, the main one was a lightsaber that was kept in a glass case, you walked up to it and leaned over looking at it. 

“Stop,” you heard and turned to see a Stormtrooper now where you were and aiming it’s blaster at you, “who goes there?” 

“It’s only me, Luna,” you replied as if it was obvious. They all have had to heard about you. 

“I have never seen you before. You couldn’t be the princess of Librilia for all I know you could be an intruder,” since he was holding up his blaster at you, you were certain that was it for you until Kylo ended up coming in and seeing the position you were in. 

“OP301,” he said making him turn, allowing you to let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. “What is going on here?” 

“She is claiming to be the princess of Librilia,” the stormtrooper said. 

“She is,” Kylo said approaching the two of you, coming and standing right next to you. “You will not disrespect her again.” 

“And you will address me as Lady Ren,” you said sternly, trying to exert authority. You wanted everyone to treat you with respect and give you the title you were supposed to have. 

“Yes, Lady Ren. I apologize,” he said. 

“Return to your position,” you ordered and he turned, going back to his position where he was supposed to be, you waited until he was out of eye and ear shot before turning to Kylo. “I didn’t mean to wander around, I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t apologize,” he said and took the mask off as he knew that you hated talking to him with it on, like you said, you liked being reminded that he was human. 

“I was just so interested in all the relics that are here,” you said turning to them and looking at them again. “I have only heard about these things and never seen them. Not even this,” you looked at the lightsaber again. 

“Have you never seen one?” he asked and you shook my head, he then just reached in and picked it up, you watched and stared at it as it sat in his hand. You then looked up and met his brown eyes, you saw that it was practically an invitation for you to take it, you carefully took it from him and held it with both of your hands examining it. 

“My father told me stories about these and what they could do,” you said. “I always wanted one to learn how to use but he said that princesses could never learn how to use one.”

“Well you aren’t a princess now,” he said and you let my eyes slowly go up to him. “Would you like to learn?” 

You couldn’t believe it. Were you actually going to learn how to use a lightsaber or was this all a trick? You didn’t care, you had been wanting to learn how to use one for a long time. 

“Yes."


	6. VI

He had taken you to somewhere private so no one could see him without his mask on except for yourself. You had no idea how to hold or use the lightsaber, you were completely blind to everything. 

You pressed the obvious button on how to turn it on, it ignited and you stared at the glowing red light. “Show me how you would use it,” he said.

You held it between your two hands and swung, immediately it felt wrong. “That feels wrong,” you sighed. 

“You’re too tense,” you froze as he came around behind you, he placed his hands on your shoulders which for some reason made your heartbeat speed up. You had no feelings for this man and you couldn’t explain why you were feeling this way. “Drop your shoulders,” you did and then he slid his hands down to your arms, “and relax your arms,” you relaxed your arms and then he came around to your front facing you. “Now, try again.” 

You then swung it and it was so fluent and it felt and looked right. You did a few more swings and it definitely felt good. Like you was meant to hold a lightsaber and do this. You then switched to doing it with just one hand and you felt it not only in your arm but throughout your entire body, then you heard him ignite his; you looked at him. You knew he was more powerful than you were with a lightsaber and he knew it too. He had been trained meanwhile you had just started learning how to swing and hold it, let alone fight someone with it. The only thing he did was speak two words. 

“Trust me.” 

And you did. 

You started fighting with him, if you could even call it that, and you couldn’t believe how much you were able to do without any practice at all. You could feel that he was going easy on you but you were thankful for it, for all you knew he could be training you the way he was. He made the sabers cross over each other and didn’t push hard for you knowing that you weren’t strong enough yet. Even though there wasn’t a lot of pressure your faces were close, only a few inches apart from each other; you two made direct eye contact and could practically feel the other’s hard breathing from the fight that had just happened.

You saw something in his eyes. Strange. Not something you had seen before, not as if you were constantly looking into his golden brown eyes but it was nothing that you expected to see. It was almost a soft look compared with how he used to look at you, a cold stare, showing no emotion whatsoever but you were able to slightly see some come through in those eyes. 

Before you knew it he had retracted his saber and pulled it back, stepping away from you and you shut yours off too, snapping out of your thoughts. “Good but you need to be better,” he said. “I’ll help you, meet me back here tomorrow.” 

You nodded in reply and he turned on his heels, starting to walk away. “Um, thank you,” you said almost out of instinct and respect like you had been taught. When you said that he stopped in his tracks like he had never been thanked before, he stayed still for a few seconds as if it was registering in his head before walking away and you were left there wondering what just happened.


	7. VII

Whenever he could, Kylo would train you. You would train for an hour at a time, it helped build up my strength and stamina to fight off any potential dangers that you would come across. The next time there was a mission, you requested to go with them feeling like you had enough training to do it, it was accepted and you were able to join Kylo and Knights of Ren along with the Stormtroopers on the next planet to search for people of the Resistance. 

“Will you be alright on your own?” Kylo asked. Since he started training you, you noticed that he had slightly softened up a bit and when you said slightly, you meant it. There was still a cold exterior like Elara said there was but you could see it slightly melting away, you knew it was going to stay it was never leaving but it was nice that he was starting to trust you enough and see you as someone who wasn’t just there. It was almost like you were friends. 

“Yes, I’ll be fine,” you said. “I’ll call out if I need any help,” with that assurance he went off with the Knights following and the Stormtroopers went off on another side leaving you to go off by yourself. 

You walked around the city watching as the Stormtroopers would be interrogating men and women for information on anything to do with the Resistance. When a man saw you, he started to walk away from you quickly and you knew you had to stop him. You were terrified but you couldn't let it show. 

“You, stop,” you said and he did, turning around to face you as you got closer. “Why were you running?” 

“I don’t know what you mean,” he said. 

“You were running away from me just now, you don’t know what you were doing?” you got even closer and with your slightly shaky hand, you took out your lightsaber and didn’t activate it yet. “Would you like to tell me why you were running? If it has anything to do with the Resistance, it would be a nice thing to know. I would hate to hurt you.” 

He was quiet for a few seconds and studied your face as if he had seen you before but you had never been to this planet. “You…” he said trailing off, “you’re the princess of Librilia.” 

Hearing that title was strange and almost foreign to you. It had been two months since you had heard it and you had gotten used to everyone calling you Lady Ren that it almost threw you off. You started to feel anger fester inside you as you remembered the day of the wedding, that your parents had chosen this fate for you. You got furious with every second of it being thought. “You’re wrong. I’m not Princess Luna, I’m Lady Ren and you will address me as such,” you told him. “Now if you have any information on or about the Resistance you will tell me, otherwise I will have to hurt you,” you held up your retracted saber to him and let your finger wander over the button to ignite it. 

“Papa!” 

You immediately stopped and looked up to see a little girl standing there, fear written all over her face of what was about to happen to her father. You looked down at the handle in your hand and the button, you wanted to please everyone from the First Order but you couldn’t bring yourself to push it with the little girl standing there. You put it down, letting it rest at your side. 

“Go,” you said and he looked confused on why you were letting him go. “Go now! Before I change my mind,” he quickly moved over to his daughter and picked her up in one movement before leaving my eyesight. You were upset with yourself for not being able to do it but you just couldn’t. 

You went back to where the ship was to be joined next to Kylo as it started going up and took off. While you were being taken back to your quarters you were silent, still thinking of the events that happened. “Something’s wrong,” he said. 

“What is it?” you asked curious as to what was going on. 

“With you,” he said causing you to sigh and look down at your fingers that were locked in front of you, he turned down one corridor which wasn’t the way to your quarters but you still followed. When he stopped, you did too and he took his mask off for you, he knew that it helped you feel better and safe, knowing that you were talking to an actual person. 

“I tried to do it but I couldn’t,” you admitted almost immediately. “I-I had my lightsaber in my hand and held out to a man but once his daughter appeared I just couldn’t bring myself to kill him. I apologize, I know how upset you must be with me.” 

“You showed mercy,” he said and you nodded shamefully, you knew people of the First Order never showed mercy no matter what situations arised. “I’m not upset with you.” 

You were surprised to say the least, you certainly expected him to be furious with you. “You aren’t?” you asked. 

“No,” he replied. “This was your first one, you’ll learn how to not show any.” 

You slowly nodded. You wanted to please everyone on the ship, that was the princess in you, how you were raised. Something deep down inside you wanted to please Kylo, you didn't know why, you shouldn't have wanted to but you couldn't help how you felt. You felt almost like a connection towards him, almost as if you were similar in some way which you knew had to been absolutely impossible. Yet you were still curious as to why you felt that way. You had to make it your goal to try and figure it out, no matter what that meant.


	8. VIII

Ever since the last mission, you refused to go on any more. You didn't want to let anyone down more than you already did so all you did was just stay in your room, Elara was the only one there to keep you company. She was one of the few girls that were on the ship, if not maybe one of the only out of the two of you that you knew of. 

"How has your training been going, Luna?" Elara asked, fixing the things on the book case in the corner of your room. You were thankful that you got a range of books to keep you entertained when you didn't feel up to leaving the room. 

"Very well," you replied, pulling your hair back into a ponytail, a hairstyle you had started to do for every training. Elara knew your schedule with the commander as she had a quarters next to yours and was her duty to know your schedule and make sure that you stuck to it. "I don't believe I'll be joining him on any more missions any time soon." 

"Why not?" she asked, turning around to look at you. 

"Because I showed mercy last time and that wasn't the orders. I don't want to let anyone down again so until I know I can't show it anymore, I will not be joining them on missions until I know for sure that I won't do that again," you stood up once you finished speaking and grabbed the retracted lightsaber off of the table that Kylo had given you, it was the one you were training with and he decided that it would be easier to give it to you to keep instead of him bringing it everytime you met for your training. 

You knew that as time went on that your training was going to get more intense and advanced but you didn't expect it to happen as intense as it turned out to be. You were sweating like crazy and your breathing was pretty much panting, he was so much stronger than you and, even though you knew he wasn't, it felt like he was using every bit of strength in his body against you. You had also started to feel conflicted for the commander, you started getting mixed signals from him. Just when you thought you were getting closer, he started to push you away and close himself off even more, it started to make you upset and you didn't know why. It was as if you were starting to have feelings for him and you couldn't believe it, you refused to believe that you were actually having feelings for him. 

Your lightsabers crossed and you started to push him back but he was stronger, shoving you back and you almost lost your footing. "You need to go harder, again," he said and you spun the saber around, taking a breath and ran forward, crossing your saber with his and you pushed with all your strength you had in your body, looking up at him. The both of you were physically closer than you ever had been before to where you could practically feel each other's breath on your faces, your breathing was shaky because you didn't know what was going to happen next and you didn't even know what you wanted to happen next but it certainly wasn't what did. 

He pushed you back, not as forceful but just to make you have some distance between the both of you. "Harder," was all he said, making you more frustrated than before. 

"I'm going as hard as I can!" you said. "I'm trying, you're much more stronger than me, don't you understand that?" 

"You can do better than what you're allowing yourself to do, I know you can," he said. 

"No, I can't!" you insisted and then you felt a pressure in your head. Almost headache like and you just saw him standing there, focusing on you and you knew this was all his doing. 

"You're afraid," he said. 

"Stop it," you replied, dropping your saber as the feeling got more painful and putting your hands up, shutting your eyes.

"You're afraid you will upset your mother and father if they ever find out you're doing this." 

"I said stop!" you shouted and then all of a sudden you felt something in your hand, your eyes slowly opened and saw that you were now holding his saber. How did you do that? Or did he do it? 

"That's what you can do," he said. 

"I did this?" you asked more to yourself than to him. 

"You're powerful, Luna," he told you. 

"How powerful?" you asked looking at him as he started to take steps towards you.

"More than you could imagine," he replied. 

"I want to know," you admitted, shutting off the saber and got closer to him yourself. "I want to know what power my parents have hidden from me." 

"And you will." 

You both were now as close as you were before, his eyes staring into yours as if he was staring directly into your soul. Just by the look on his face you could see something in him, something that you had never seen before. And in a split second you were caught off guard. He kissed you. And something that also caught you off guard was that you kissed him back. It was as if something inside you felt like this was right. When his hands came to your waist, you dropped the saber and placed your hands on his arms. He pulled away and just looked at you before backing up, you cleared your throat and picked up the saber, handing it to him. 

"So, same time tomorrow?" you asked and he gave a small nod before turning around and walking away, leaving you there alone in your thoughts. 

What the hell was that?


	9. IX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a bit of writers block after the last chapter but I think I finally know how I want to do this story. I'll try to do more chapters more regularly, I'm working on the next couple right now.

The next few weeks definitely became interesting between the two of you after the kiss, during some of the practice sessions he would kiss you which would turn into something more. Which was really just you making out with him while on his lap. This was all a first for you, never having a boyfriend before so it was all new but you liked it. You definitely started to feel something change, not just feelings wise which were changing by every second you were there and with him, it also felt like your princess side was slowly dying and a First Order side of you was rising. Lady Ren was rising. 

You actually started to like being there which is something you never thought you'd say for the rest of your life. Something that made you realize you were still holding onto your princess past was your hair. That was a big thing, ever since you were little you had long hair and never even thought about cutting it, it was a forbidden thought for you but now you could be who you wanted to be. You finally had freedom. 

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Elara asked as she ran the brush down your hair again. "There's no going back once you do this." 

"I know, that's why I want to," you replied, twisting the thin gold wedding ring around your finger that you had just recently started wearing. "I need to do this. I need to show that I'm not the princess anymore." 

Elara picked the scissors up from off of the table in front of you then gathered your hair together in her free hand behind you. She looked at you in the mirror and raised her eyebrows, as if to ask if you were still okay with it and you gave a nod saying you were. Then you started hearing the splitting of hairs and the slicing of the scissors, knowing that there was definitely no going back now. 

It didn’t take long for it to be finished and once it was, you absolutely loved it. It felt like it suited you more than the long hair did and you didn’t feel like some little princess anymore. The one thing you were nervous about was how Kylo was going to react to it, you really liked him now and his opinion started to matter to you. 

The doors to his quarters shut behind you and you were standing with his back faced to you. “Hi,” you said, making him turn to look at you. He froze and so did you, with no reaction you started to prepare for the worst. 

Kylo slowly started to walk up to you. “You cut your hair,” he stated simply. 

“Yeah, well um, Elara actually did,” you said and watched as he took a strand on his gloved finger and ran it down to the end. 

“It looks good,” he said and your eyes met with his. The way he looked at you was much softer than how it was at first and you adored it. His hand slid up to the side of your face and he bent down just a bit to press his lips against yours, you grabbing onto his wrist as you kissed him back. His free left hand started toying with the belt on your jacket, pulling on the end of it and you got the exact message he was trying to send. 

You took your hand away and took the jacket off yourself, letting it fall to the ground. That was all he needed to know that it was okay. He took his hand away and placed both on your waist before picking you up, you wrapping your legs around in response and you were carried over to his bed.


	10. X

At two months, you and Kylo could barely pull yourselves off of each other. Almost every night you would go to his quarters and then sneak back into yours but it started to get more difficult so you both agreed that you moving to his room would be easier and better. It definitely was. 

It had been almost four months now, ten months since Kylo and you got married, and you had seriously not been more happier. You knew that being on Librilia was not the place for you, you just didn’t expect it to be the wife of the leader of the Knights of Ren. 

“Lady Ren,” Elara said as she approached you, she knew that you wanted to be addressed as Lady Ren in front of everyone else. “You have a message.” 

You took the holopad that was offered out to you and looked at it, reading the message. It didn’t make sense at first but as soon as you read who it was from, it all made sense and you were fuming. You inhaled deeply, trying to keep your cool and looked up at her. “Thank you, Elara.” 

She gave a small nod and then walked away. You were certain that I was either red or had actual steam coming out of your ears. You mother had sent you a message asking you to come back to Librilia to see your parents and you couldn’t believe, after ten months of not one word, that now they wanted to see you. You quickly went to your shared quarters and when the door was closed behind you, you rested the back of your head on it and closed your eyes. 

You heard the footsteps of heavy boots that only belonged to one person, come into the room from the refresher. “You’re upset,” he said. 

You sighed as your initial response and opened your eyes to look at him. “It’s my mother,” you said and walked over to the bed, sitting down on the edge of it. “She sent a message that she and my father would like me to come back to Librilia to see me.” 

“Why now?” he asked as you felt a dip in the bed, giving you the signal that he sat down too. 

“I don’t know, that’s what upsets me the most. It has been almost a year since we got married and I didn’t get any messages of them asking to hear from me or how I was doing. It’s just so...insensitive of them to do this,” you ran your hands through your hair frustratedly and let out another sigh to keep yourself together.

You felt him softly place his hand on your back. “Don’t go see them then.” 

You shook your head and put your hands down. “I have too. I know my parents, or my mother I should say, she’ll just keep doing it over and over until I cave. I have to go.” 

There was a small patch of silence before he spoke. “I’ll go with you.” 

You paused for a second before turning to look at him. “Really?” 

He nodded slightly. “I’ll go and have some of the Knights join us as well,” he said. 

“Don’t think I can handle myself?” you asked with a slight laugh, you placed your hand on the side of his face lovingly. “Thank you, it...it means a lot to me that you’ll do that for me,” you leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips, a soft one and full of how you felt. Afterwards, you put your forehead against his and kept your eyes shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on tumblr where I'm a lot more active and I've included a little thing about Luna. 
> 
>  
> 
> [writingandridingsolo](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/writingandridingsolo)  
> 


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